Turn the Other Cheek for the Sake of Derby

This week an article on the website of an Australian newspaper circulated round facebook and I watched as the outraged comments started to appear.
"If this dude thinks it isn't a sport then get him on skates and when we scrape him off the track and pick his teeth up we'll see what he has to say" - anonymous enraged derby person.
"He is obviously close-minded as he only lists white middle class things as sports" - Another anonymous derby person.
"Here is his email address.  Lets spam him with hatemail so he really gets the idea of how professional we are" - paraphrased facebook group.

  I'm not going to link to the article itself as I don't want to fan the flames, in fact in an email to Betty Schnockered of Derby Girls Blog, the author of the article said that already the comments section on his article has been disabled by the site admins.  He said that he had had 76 comments before it was closed and has had a number of emails.

I don't know what the original motivation or intent of the author was (although in his email correspondence with Betty Schnockered he explains that his regular article is a "mickey take" and is a "Bemused look at modern life") but there are so many people out there that will use this kind of approach to boost their online profile, get more hits and increase ad traffic to the website or just simply to try and troll.  In fact this type of article is not uncommon in the world of journalism as even big household names(in the UK at least) like Jeremy Clarkson use inflammatory articles to get their name into the spotlight just in time for the release of his book...

Ok, Reality Check Time People
This is not the first and will certainly not be the last time someone writes an article which is negative about roller derby, however if everytime one is written we as a community decide to throw our toys out of the pram and start name calling then we look doubly bad.  If we as a sport and as a community want to grow we have to learn to use educated responses to articles like this. I realise this is hard to do as everyone involved in roller derby is super passionate about it because we all, everyday make it happen and so when someone does launch an attack we feel personally aggrieved.

So going forward from this what should we do when we encounter something like this?  Well first off I will say that we should avoid sharing links to these pages on Facebook as that just multiplies the situation a million fold. We should contact the author with a measured response like that of Betty Schnockered http://derbygirlsblog.com/2011/12/07/mr-roller-derby-isnt-a-sport-wrote-me-back-betty-schnockered/ which is a fine example of the way it should be.

We should not be getting into mudslinging as then we lose the argument. If the author claims it is out of ignorance then offer them free tickets to a local league bout, get them onside and they may then write another article saying how they had been to see it and it is great.  They may however, write another article saying it isn't their thing but that's their opinion.

What I'm saying here is, turn the other cheek, realise that some people are not going to "get" roller derby and some people just like spouting off for the effect. We need to be the bigger person and show the world that roller derby isn't a sideshow, it isn't just about the alternative lifestyle or counter-culture. It's a professional and dedicated sport.

Of course this is just my opinion which I am entitled to.

CV Or Not CV, That Is the Tenuous Title

A little while ago I was trying to think of how many bouts I had worked as a Ref, as an NSO and as an announcer and I realised that this is now quite a task as I've done quite a few.  I spent a bit of time correlating all the info from memory, a stack of bout programmes, and of course Facebook photos and events and came up with a list of bouts and what I did at them.

I have now resolved to keep my derby CV up to date so I don't have to go through this each time.  With this in mind here are my thoughts on a Derby CV.

Why Should I Keep a Derby CV?

I know what you're thinking.  I thought that too.  But here's why you should. 
Roller Derby is getting big now, I mean huge and so bigger opportunities are coming round for players, coaches, refs, etc, and so being able to show your experience means a lot. It can help loads when you get involved with the press and they start asking you to provide a player profile, or just start asking the difficult questions. It's also great for looking back and seeing exactly how far you've come.

So what should be on a derby CV?

I've broken my CV down into 3 categories, Announcing, NSOing and Refereeing and I suggest this is the place to start (although you may want to add other categories depending on what you do).
Then under each category list the relevant info.  Here is my suggestion on what you should record:
NSO - Bout Name, Date, Teams Involved, Positions Worked;
Ref - Bout Name, Date, Teams Involved, Positions worked, Head Ref name;
Announcer - Bout Name, Date, Teams Involved
Player - Bout Name, Date, Teams Involved, Score.  You could also add on if you got a bout award.
Bench/Line-up - Bout Name, Date, Teams Involved, Score

What bouts should you include on your CV?

This is up to you really but I would work on only adding those which are played under proper bout conditions (and I'm not including "bout night" style practices), so I'm only adding bouts where the scores are likely to be posted somewhere like Rollin News. This is mainly for practical reasons as if you included every scrimmage event or every bout night it would crowd the CV unnecessarily and detract from its usefulness.

What Else is worth putting on there?

Record key events in your derby history so that you can look back if asked and give accurate answers.  When did you start skating? If you moved leagues then say when?  Have you attained any qualifications(BRSF etc)? Which Bootcamps you've been to? What Bootcamps have you coached? Are you a coach, when did that start?

You should also mention if you are involved in any "Admin" type roles within your league.  Are you on the board of Directors, part of the coaching committee, the designer of the bout posters, the social secretary?  Are you the representative on a larger organisation such as UKRDA?  Remember to add the dates that you did these things from and to.

Injuries...

If you are the kind of person that likes to be the war hero and show off all of your curious scars at parties then you might want to add a section detailing your various trips to Casualty.  It's one of those things that goes with the sport but it is one of those questions that comes up a lot when talking to press people.

I hope this has given you all something to think about and you'll now be rooting through boxes of programmes to find out exactly when your mate roped you into being a penalty tracker at a bout, which then led to you buying some skates and becoming the roller demon you are now.

One day when you're writing your autobiography, you'll thank me.

Derby Announcer 101

Derby announcing is one of those jobs that looks as though it should be easy, I mean it's just talking about derby right, and that's your favourite thing and you can talk about it for hours, right?  Well not exactly.
I've been announcing derby bouts for over a year now and in that year I think I've announced 35+ separate bouts (possibly more, I lost count trying to tot it up in my head). I was thrown into it very much at deepend when I was asked to announce at the Highland Fling tournament in Aberdeen.  There were supposed to be a gang of announcers taking turns but it ended up being myself and GRGs Helliverance for the entire weekend.  I had been studying the rules and terminology so thought that I had a handle on it all but there is more to it than just knowing the rules and not being afraid of the mic.

There are 2 distinct styles of announcing: Play-by-play and Colour.  This isn't to say that an announcer can only be one of these, you should be(and will be) a mix of the 2, it justs depends on how much of one you are over the other.
Play-by-Play is essentially breaking down what is happening on track during the jams. You'll be watching what the players are doing, what the refs are doing and making sure the crowd knows why things are happening. Why is that player skating to the bin?  Why is that Ref smashing himself on the top of the head with his wrist guard? Play-By-Play shouldn't be "Derby for Radio" i.e. don't simply tell the crowd what they can already see. Fill in the gaps with info they might not know.

Colour is all the other stuff that fills out the bout.  So this is talking about individual players or teams, talking about the win/loss records, Giving some background to the bout, the sport and the rules. Sometimes it's getting the crowd going and making some noise for the teams.

There are also jobs that go along with a derby bout that announcers do such as talking about the raffle and asking for the owner of a Red ford fiesta to move it from the hedge outside the venue, but I'm mainly talking about the announcing during the actual bout here.

I have worked with a number of people new to announcing(I say this like I am a wisened old veteran) and I always get asked in advance if I have any tips for them.  Here's what I normally say:

• Learn The Rules and Terminology.  It helps to call a game if you know the hand signals and why penalties are called.  Also referring to moves by the accepted terms such as "Star Pass" or "Grand Slam" helps the crowd pick it up as the bout progresses.
• Watch the jam refs when the jammer is leaving the engagement zone. On the first pass this will let you know who is lead jammer, or even why they aren't. On the subsequent passes it means you can see how many points they picked up.
• Listen for the whistles.  If a player is going to pick up a major penalty there will be a whistle blown first. When you hear that whistle look at the ref as they should be onto the part where they are giving the hand signal and now you know what the penalty was for.
• Try not to only focus on the jammers.  They are the ones that are easiest to pick out on the track due to their starting alone and of course the helmet panty but you need to also talk about the blockers out there giving their all in that position.  If you see a big hit, mention it. If a wall of blockers is totally controlling the front of the pack, give it a shout.
• Learn the player numbers.  If you generally work with one league then you will naturally get familiar with their player numbers so concentrate on the away team.  You will see the player number more than the name on the shirt and if you know the numbers it makes it more fluid when making the calls.
• Perfect pronunciation prevents punchings.  Skaters spend a lot of time finding the greatest derby name. If you think it could be pronounced a couple of different ways go and check with the player or their line-up before the bout starts. This also applies if the skater has a clever pun or malapropism in their name, get it right or you will be contravening the next rule...
• Make sure you have a mental swear filter!  This is especially important as it is after all a family event.  If you see that magical apex jump combined with a Star pass try not to get over excited and swear over the mic.
• Don't say anything about a player or ref that you wouldn't say to their face.  They will be at the afterparty and they probably heard you...
• Don't give tactics away.  I have seen and heard so many announcers say stuff like "And the Green Jammer is coming up to the back of the pack" and you can see the jammers expression of "Cheers, I was trying to sneak through and now this B4 has spotted me...".  Basically don't mention stuff which may give away a teams tactics.  Obviously if one team has taken a knee at the start and the other blockers are aware then talk about it as much as you like.  If they are blissfully unaware then keep it shut until the first whistle has gone.
• Don't question a refs judgement. If you start saying that such and such a ref has made a bad call then the crowd could turn on the refs as a whole.  The refs do a hard job and have to call things as they see them. When you are on the sidelines and looking from different angles and from a stationary position things can look very, very different to how the refs see them. 
• Try and be marginally impartial. There are 2 teams out there skating and both deserve to be treated with respect. If you are working with the announcer from the other league then you can both specialise in your own team but there shouldn't be any "My team's better than yours" going on.
• Always wait for the score to be confirmed. Especially if it's a close game.  I've announced a bout before where there were a couple of points in it and as the scores were checked the scoreboard kept getting updated and changed so there was a weird back and forth of cheering from the 2 sets of fans.
• Have fun.  Afterall it's why you're doing this in the first place.

All of this is what I have picked up since I started.  Some of it I figured out for myself, some I gleaned from working with some great announcers in the sport, some of it I learned the hard way!

Spreading the Good Word - Promoting Your League and the Sport

As one of my duties within NRG I have the great pleasure of being involved in the marketing and PR committee and if I say so myself we've been pretty successful in getting the word out about Roller Derby in the North-East and of course getting the all important bums on seats for our first couple of bouts.  So, what are the best ways to promote your league?  Here are some ideas:

• Get in touch with the local press and media.  The local news stations are always after extra stories and something which is still considered out of the ordinary like Roller Derby will be the kind of thing they'll be after.  Especially if the positive aspects of the sport are pitched alongside the highly exciting, bashy nature of it.
•  Speak to local colleges or Universities.  Media students are always looking for interesting new subjects to use in documentaries or exhibitions.  Make sure you make a deal with them to have access to anything they produce so you can use it for your own promotions.
• Make friends with local radio.  We are lucky to have a volunteer radio station in Newcastle(the AlterNation show on NE1FM) and we're now regular guests on there. They have had us on the show a few times and came to a bout to record a piece which was then played the following week.
• Put together a press pack.  It may sound a bit fancy and advanced but with all the people you will be contacting you will get sick of saying the same things over and over again.  Produce a press pack which contains some info about the league and the sport and then attach some photos which show you at your best. Make this available to your team to distribute as they are making contact with the local media.
• Hit the Streets! Get as many of your team together in full boutfits and hit the pavements of your nearest town or city. The appearance of a gaggle of roller girls will get the interest of your average saturday shopper.  Some things to consider are the safety aspect, so ensure that it will be ok to skate where you are going and for jeebus' sake, wear your pads!. The other thing to check out is whether you need a license to hand out flyers on the streets.  Newcastle for instance requires a license to flyer and so when we go out it's purely for a shaking hands and chatting to people trip.
• Attend local fetes, festivals and gatherings. If there is an event in your town or city then speak to the organisers about whether you can attend and promote your league, and then gather the troops and spread the word. In the past NRG have taken part in Zombie walks and had several stints of roller waitressing.  We have even been involved with a World record breaking attempt(Human Mattress Dominos would you beleive)!
• Posters, Posters, Posters.  Good old postering, the staple of any media campaign. If you are lucky like us then you will have some phenomenally talented people in your league that can whip up posters in the blink of an eye, and you should utilise this as much as possible. Make sure your posters are clear and contain all the info they need to and catch the eye.  Don't fly poster!  It's illegal, looks bad and will do nothing for the reputation of your league.  The best option is to visit local businesses and ask if they will display a poster in their window or within their establishment. 
• Use the Social Media. You can't escape twitter, blogging, facebook and all the other types of social media out there, so you might as well use it your advantage. Get a facebook page for your league, get a twitter account.  These are a must. Make sure you have a team of people to administrate these as they take quite a bit of time up responding to messages and requests. Get in touch with sites such as Rollin News and they will add you to the lists of leagues and will post updates of your upcoming events. The most important rule of using any digital media is DON'T SPAM PEOPLE!  I can't stress this one enough.  If you bombard people with 100s of tweets a day or 50 facebook posts then they will be inclined to block you and then they'll never see your message.
• Gather Emails and addresses for a mailing list.  When you have events you can then send invitations or flyers to those people that have opted in.

Hopefully all of the above should give you some good ideas to help grow your league and the sport in general.
Something which I should probably add here, is a bit about choosing who represents your league. It shouldn't just be 1 or 2 people, but you need to be sure that whoever is promoting your league(and the sport) can be trusted to give good representation and stay "on-brand" (I hate myself for using that term...). If you have a team member that is a bit sweary, then it may not be great to let them do a live radio or tv interview...

Derby Gear Review - Penalty Timer iPhone App

I reviewed the new Jam Timer iPhone app a couple of days ago and I had promised that I would also review the penalty timer app from the same developers so here it is...

Format - iPhone/iPod Touch
Publisher - Fearless Code
version - 2.1(v190)
Price - £1.19


This app has been out for a while (although has been updated several times) and it's one that has caused many an NSO to coo over how good it is, while at the same time causing many discussions among the refereeing community.
The main benefit of Penalty timer is that it allows 1 penalty box NSO to time all 6 seats on 1 device and is programmed with the rules governing jammers in the sin bin.
The app is very configurable and has several timer modes including 1 team, 2 teams, 1 teams blockers, 2 teams blockers, 2 jammers and custom setup. The option is also there to enable the jammer rules from section 7.4.
The team colours can be chosen from either 6 pre-set colours or a custom RGB slider.
The main interface is well designed and clear and allows the individual seats to be timed and reset as well as providing overall Start and Stop buttons for the start and end of jams. There is functionality built in so that if one jammer is in the penalty box being timed and the other jammer starts being timed it automatically resets the original jammer and assigns the timed served to the new jammer.  This is also compliant with the 7.4.1 rulings about the original jammer returning to the penalty box and serving the full minute (The jammerless jam scenario).
This updated version allows the time for an individual seat to be increased or reduced by 1 minute (or outright edited) which allows for multiple penalty minutes to be served correctly.
When a timer counts down and gets into the final 10 seconds the clock turns red and then flashes when it hits 0.
Like the Jam Timer app this isn't a substitute for an NSO with knowledge of the position but can ensure that it takes the juggling out of the job.
I have found this app to be a lifesaver for scrimmage training sessions when NSOs aren't in abundance and so 1 person can be left in charge of the entire penalty box. 
As with any app that is installed on a phone/device of this nature, ensure that it is switched into Flight mode to avoid those embarrassing moments when a text or call comes in just as your jammers are sitting down.

Derby Gear Review - Jam Timer App

Format - iPhone/iPod(with OS 4.2+ installed)
Publisher - Fearless Code
Price - £1.19 on iTunes appstore

So, a new derby app hits the virtual shelves.  This is the second iPhone app for derby by Fearless code and this one again will be a useful addition to any NSOs arsenal. Fearless Codes first app was Penalty Timer(which I'll review later on) and that was a big hit among leagues that can't get a whole posse of NSOs to their practice sessions.  This app is also going to be a big hit and here's why.

The interface is nice and clear with the period clock ticking down at the top of the screen and the jam clock at the bottom.  There are nice big Start Jam and Stop Jam buttons as well as a Start Timeout button.  It clearly displays the jam number which is something a Jam Timer normally wouldn't need to know but is useful for other NSOs to check on.

It will automatically switch into the Jam Interval timer as soon as the jam is stopped and there is an option for it to auto start the next jam when that time runs out.
Pressing the Start Timeout button will give you the option of a team timeout or an official timeout.

All of the timings can be pre-defined and saved as game types (it comes already configured with standard WFTDA and WORD timing sets) so you can change all aspects such as number of periods, period length, halftime length, jam length, jam interval, timeout length and a few others.

I think there will be the usual concerns by Head Refs all over that the iPhone/iPod shouldn't be used for actual bouts as they aren't designed for timing.
My only concern is that my stopwatches(and this is probably true of 99.9999% of stopwatches in the world) have lanyards attached already so I can't drop them.  Also sports stopwatches are generally designed to be given a hard time and so are going to be much more resilient that the fragile iPhone/iPod.

This unlike the Penalty Timer app is never going to be able to do the majority of the jam timer NSO role as you still need to blow the whistle and judge the pack distances etc so you still need to know the rules and be a comptetent jam timer, but it certainly takes the juggling of watches and whistles out of the picture.

I would have liked it more if it tracked the number of timeouts each team has taken but that is something for the next version I suppose.

Overall a nice little app and one that will be handy for scrimmages and practice sessions but maybe not for full open bouts where a dropped iPhone could cause problems.

P.S.  I should probably say that if I was a Head Ref and someone was wanting to use this I would be insisting that the iPhone is switched into flight mode for the entire duration of the bout.  Last thing you want is a phone call or text in the middle of a jam...

Merby? Yeah!

So last night was the first session of Tyne and Fear Roller Derby.  The North-Easts first dedicated Merby league.

This is the brainchild of Man Shaped Dog, head ref of the Newcastle Roller Girls who has been trying to get us fellow refs together for some merby action for a while but it's finally come together.  The first session was successful in that we had a decent number of guys turn up and most of them could already skate to a decent level so we were able to get onto the basics of skating, falling, stopping and even got onto some whips.  First session saw about 16 guys show up (I'm not including myself in this as I have no intention to play merby but I am there with my zebra stripes) so if we get a few more we'll have a good basis for a team.

So, in summary Merby? YEAH!

So, I started well with this blogging lark!

Hello to the couple of you that have deemed me worthy of a follow.

Sorry about the lack of any substance in a while, I've been busy and here's why.

Since my last post Newcastle Roller Girls have hosted their first and second bouts on home soil (victorious in both) and I have been heavily involved in the behind the scenes marketing and setup for both. On top of that my band Ball of Mayhem (www.myspace.com/ballofmayhem) have also been involved in a massive project as well as gigging like we hate our houses.

The project (which has been vying for my time as much as roller derby!) was to take an E.P. by Swedish folk star Sofia Talvik and re-arrange and re-record it. The idea wasn't just to make her songs faster or play them with loads of distortion but to properly make them into Ball of Mayhem songs.  After a few weeks of re-writing we pretty much had the basic structures down and then we jammed them out in the studio before embarking on the mighty process of getting it all down in the studio.  That was completed a few weeks ago and after some minor adjustments they are ready for release at the start of June.  You can find more about the project and pre-order a copy if you want to here http://music.sofiatalvik.com/track/nothing-quite-so-gentle-2

Derby wise, I have been pushing my on skates reffing stuff and helping to train up some new NRG zebras. There's even the chance that I may have a co-announcer soon so I'll be able to don the stripes and ref some bouts.  That will be interesting to see.  William Hill will be running a book on how many times I fall into the path of a jammer going at full speed.
I'm also going to be reffing for the newly formed Merby league Tyne and Fear Roller Derby, Our first practice is this Friday so we'll see how that goes.

Anyway,  that's a quick update of what's going on. 

I promise I'll update this again soon... (I'm going to look back on this blatant lie in 2015 and feel a bit bad).

Sven

We Love Broller Derby!

So, Saturday saw my first official derby gig of the year. This one was announcing(as I suspect/hope many will be this year)  for Tarzan and Pain held at Ponds Forge in Sheffield.
The first bout was MMR taking on SSRG and was a bout fraut with injuries for MMR which is never a good thing to see.  I think it's fair to say that as a spectator of Roller Derby we want to see the big hits and the players getting flattened but we also like to see them pop back up and go back for revenge or more punishment.  When a skater stays down you can tell that everyone in attendance feels for that skater at that moment.  A thought has just struck me about this.  The etiquette for when a skater goes down injured is for the skaters to take a knee out of respect, but how far should the respectful knee be taken?  Should it extend to NSOs, Announcers, the crowd?  Anyway I digress...

After the excitement provided by the first bout the crowd were warmed up and ready for the Merby action to start.  For those uninitiated sorts out there Merby is mens derby and is essentially a chance for the various referees up and down the country to don gumshields and smash each other about a bit.  I was joined on the mic by SSRGs Miss D Nightshade taking the plunge of announcing her first roller derby bout.
The thing that struck me about Merby is that the pace and the aggression levels are increased ten fold from the womens game and so it becomes a game of pretty much one tactic: If he ain't upright then he ain't in a position to do anything!
Of course, Referees being far from shy we were treated to a few displays of showboating and playing to the crowd, sometimes this worked, sometimes it didn't. 

One of my fellow skaters at NRG also seems to have coined a new term which was displayed proudly on the t-shirts of the NRG skaters in the crowd (cheering on NRGs very own Man Shaped Dog and Chemic-Al). The phrase of course is "Broller Derby" and all credit for this must go to Nigella Lawless.

Sunday saw an old friend of mine swing by the NRG squad training session ready to write an article about us for his magazine Deviant.co.uk. He brought his photographer with him and while he snapped away, Deviant Dean grabbed words from our captain and vice captain.  The next issue of Deviant.co.uk goes live on Tuesday and I'm looking forward to seeing the NRG team in all their glory.

Farewell 2010, Welcome 2011

So 2010 was the year that introduced me to the world of derby. Looking back at some of the things that happened to me in and out of derby:

• Announced a full weekends tournament in Aberdeen
• NSO'd a number of bouts around the country
• Refereed my first bout
• I've met hundreds of new people worldwide and a massive team full of amazing people here in Newcastle
• Experienced the joys of Deep Vein Thrombosis (ok so this isn't a highlight but it is an experience and it was derby related as I got my DVT from falling and landing on a skate wheel!)

Non-Derby stuff

• Finally got my Degree so I am edumacated
• Made my first steps into the world of stand up comedy - and got laughs!
• Bought a banjo (or two) and started learning to play
• Embraced my inner boy racer and bought a Subaru Impreza

Looking ahead to 2011

• I already have a few derby bouts lined up as announcer and will be getting my ref on in others.
• I've written new material and so will be hitting the stage as a stand up again
• More Gigs with Ball of Mayhem!
• VEGAS in APRIL!
• A new fitter and hopefully injury free Sven

I'm not one for making new years resolutions mainly because I feel that you shouldn't have to wait for a once a year opportunity to make a change to your life.